Virginity, Facebook & Game Of Thrones | Stand-Up Comedy by Mohd Suhel

June 29, 2020



Some Mediocre & Easy Jokes.
For enquiries or bookings: suhelbaz@gmail.com
Shot at Canvas Laugh Club (1st July 2018)
Special Thanks – Christopher Baretto
“You forget a thousands of things everyday pal, make sure this is one of them.”- Michael Townley

Social Media Links:
Instagram:
Facebook:
Twitter:

Lyrics:
Thanks!
so I’m an engineering student.
Thanks!
I’m an engineering student, and……..
due to eligibility criteria of every engineering college I’m also a virgin.
Uhhhh….
I don’t think its because of engineering.
like I’m still a virgin because why would someone do it with me.
like just look at me.
I look like tom cruise,
and thats not the joke.
I tink I would look like tom cruise,if..
he was doing an impression of harry potter and had malaria and diarrhoea at the same time.
but there are some people out there who say things like
“I’m proud to be a virgin.”
you can’t be proud of something you never did.
some of you got it,some of you are still virgin.
Thanks!
but people say weird things, especially on facebook.
I have a problem with most of the girls on FB.
not the fake ones, real ones.
most of the girls on FB they start their name with angel,cutie pie or princess.
no you’re not a princess, you’re dipti from chunabhatti.
and guys are not any better
they have names like hearthacker,
smarty salim,
I have a friend on FB named lipstick eraser.
don’t confuse it with lipstick sharpener.
that’s his brother.
and there are some organisms on FB,
they just tag everyone for no reason.
everyday.
like everyday I get this notification,
“Rahul just said he was with you.”
no he wasn’t.
then I looked at the photo and it said he was with you and 49 others.
he tags 50 people in every photo.
and there’s only one person in the photo.
and even that’s not Rahul.
recently I saw this post on FB it Said
“Share this post and one wish will come true.”
so I wrote,
“Suck my dick, if yours didn’t come true at least mine will.”
I used to play teen patti a lot.
then I noticed girls were getting good cards.
so I made a fake profile.
then I started winning.
there was just one problem, I started getting weird messages.
a guy sent me a poem.
OK not to me to princess sweety.
He wrote,
“I don’t have words to write so I’m sending you pain. Feel it.”
then to make me feel that pain he sent me a dick pic.
then i saw the dick pic.
and I said “I need to be a better person.”
after seeing that dick pick I stopped gambling and making fake profiles.
another thing I find weird is game of thrones.
recently I watched GOT.
but before watching GOT I had never watched any american TV show before.
so I thought it will be similar to indian TV shows.
spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
this is the problem with the show:
in every episode they are introducing character after character without any suspense.
I’m used to watching these characters from toe to head.
our cliffhangers are showing characters from toe to head.
their cliffhanger is incest.
there’s a guy in every episode shouting
“Winter is coming.”
get a Blanket, Dumbass! you’re scaring me.
so I was watching GOT and I got a call from my friend.
He was excited about something that no one has ever been excited for.
He said “EXAM’S TIMETABLE IS HERE HAVE YOU SEEN IT?”
I was like “Screw that. HODOR IS DEAD!”
He Said “Oh you’re watching GOT. Is there sex in this episode?”
then I got angry.
“HEY!
my favorite character is dead.
and you’re thinking about sex. Have YOU ever had sex dumbass?”
then he got Angry.
“HEY!
don’t say anything about sex….
I’m proud to be a virgin.”
Thanks!

Nguồn: https://tokodewasa.net/

Xem thêm bài viết khác: https://tokodewasa.net/game/

All Comments

  • Video subtitles in the description. Favorite subtitles in the video.

    Mohd Suhel June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • He acts like Joker!!

    Justin Bieber June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • 1.21 "u can't be proud of something u never did" 😂👏🙏

    Yapu Dania neba June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Zindagi me kuch nahi bacha na teri? 😂😂😂

    乇T乛EDGE OP June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Pureakea purea engineering hi Hai

    Md Salauddin June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Omg the captions are out off the world's😂😂

    suzan joe June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • The captions doh….

    Tina Popat June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • @laugh club… Kin chuti¥© ko bhar rakha h. Worst bullshit ever on stage

    Robin Dahiya June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • No you're not a Princess you re deepti from chunavatti😂😂😂😂😂

    Tapashya Rasaily June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Mujhe laga ye 9 th class me hai aur 10 me Jane wala hai

    Ak 47 June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Nya video kab daal rhe h..make it soon dude

    Cody Elms June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Bhopal se hai kya yeh

    Arman Khan June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • What's the audience trippin on

    Baishali Sarmah June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Really amazing video

    Rahil king June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • WTF is wrong with the subtitles?? 🤦‍♂️

    nexal blaze June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Sad I m ugly and doing engg
    But this guy is doing life

    Darsh Nagar June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Chunna Bhatti
    Bhopal?

    Divyansh Choukse June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Subtitles 😂😂😂😂

    JESSE PINKMAN June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Caption has another comedy show

    Akarsh H June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Har koi comedy kar raha he……bekar log ur background me hasne ka sounds dal dete he nubde ………. comedy to pehle ke log karte Raju Srivastava,kapil,ur bhi kai log

    akuma 8rox June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Use subtitles in uk english
    Thank me later😐

    Krishna June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • this is a gem.

    Hrudayangam Mehta June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • What's wrong with captions 🤣🤣

    Leila Erebos June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Subtitles ke kuch alg hi saste nashe hain

    Ved Thakur June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Subtitle on krke dekhna video alag hi level ka hoga😂😂

    Informal Talks June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Best part is …he doesn't laugh rather his way of being paused for sometime is 🤣

    Sagarika Sahoo June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Samay bola dekhneka toh dekhneka

    LIFE ENJOY June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Abe chhutiye tune vikings dekhi kyaa

    Patel Ilyas June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • People are over reacting,I think paise wasool karna chahte hai.

    Pagal World June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Yaar samajh nahi aa rha subtitles padoon ki vdo dekhu

    P SESHANTH Vishal June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Who else loved the subtitles more than the vedio

    NEETU PANDEY June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Read the subtitles.
    It is very relatable to the video.

    Jitendra Prasad June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Video and captions are of parallel universe

    Master ABHISHEK June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Lyrics in description 😂😂😂

    Miss Chubby Cheeks June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Thanks bda cringy tha bhai…

    Shayan Mohammad June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Bhai depression aa gya mjhe .! Bc 🤣🤣

    Parth Shahi June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • This Guy is like hello I wanna kill myself 💀

    Sameer Sharma June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • the subtitles oh my frickkity frack i-

    Manya Gulati June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Kch log smjh gye aur kch log virgin h ka matlab smjhaoo

    Abdullah Aslam June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Thanks.
    🤣😂😂

    Aryan Upadhyay June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Abe ye log chutiya hai faltu Mai has rhe hai

    ANIRUDH JOSHI joshi June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • 10 se jyada baar sunn liya, thanks the way he said 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Thanks

    Payal Rawat June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • That night he got laid

    DrDoom June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • subtitle are disturbing as fck

    big cat June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • maatam ki awaaz mein delivering jokes to an audience is also a talent .

    Yuvi June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Dryyy AF

    whery whery khuot pataeta June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply
  • Mujhe pata ni kyu lagta hai iski bohot ragging li gayi hogi…..

    Souparno Chatterjee June 29, 2020 2:19 pm Reply

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